I feel so overwhelmed, babe. I am so glad we got Hugo like the most deluxe pet insurance ever when he was a puppy, because he is certainly keeping me on my toes. It feels like he just waited until you left and then was like okay here we gooo- ear infections, muscle atrophy, heat intolerance, allergies, hypersalivation, the way he eats and drinks… he currently has pneumonia, we think. And it’s frustrating as a vet that I don’t have a hospital I can pop into and get meds for him myself at, but that’s what I get for only working clinically on the side, I guess. He is just the only thing I worry about, anymore (other than your family), and it’s too much. I want to be able to write more here during the week. I think of so many poems that would help me express my grief but don’t feel like there is time to sit down to take the time to write them out, and then they slip away.
But things will settle down soon…I am so glad your story is getting attention and saving lives will be a part of your legacy. I have to ask Janell what to do to prepare for the City Council…and when that would be lol.
I just feel so defeated, at times.
Babe, yesterday, a woman came to State’s LOSS OF A LOVED ONE support group and basically said she was going through a breakup and wanted to witness our grief to give herself perspective on how bad things could actually be. I found that completely inappropriate…breakup grief is not the same as death grief and different deaths make for different grief. Like suicide grief. There are other support groups this woman can go to. I don’t know how everyone else felt about it, but I just felt like we were in a fishbowl being gawked at when she said that. Just so oblivious to how that may make us, who have literally LOST SOMEONE TO NEVER BE FOUND, feel. It reminded me of something someone texted me, earlier on, where they were trying to lend support but tried to relate it to their recent breakup. “It’s not the same and he’s not dead but he might as well be.”
Oof. Babe. The audacity of these bitches! I’m not invalidating the sort of pain and grief breakups cause, but there are other support groups for that! And other people to say that shit to! I don’t get it.
I love you today and everyday.