Today is really hard, my heart is physically aching. I miss you so much. I can’t believe I have to continue missing you like this for the rest of my life. It makes doing everything so difficult, but I do it because I have to.

I know you know this, already, but I really hate it when people say I’m doing well, or that I look like I’m healing. The word healing makes me retract into myself. There is no healing to losing you, to you leaving the way you did. There is carrying, and resilience, and PTSD, and bearing it. People just see what they want to see.

Just turn around and come back home please.